Dave was born in Ohio to a pair of hilbillies several years ago. At two years old, while on a family trip to Wyoming, Dave’s parents stopped at a bait and tackle store near Yellowstone park and traded the kid for a pound of beef jerky. Days later, Dave chewed through his leash and wandered out into the woods, where he was adopted and raised by a pack of wolves. He was eventually trapped, and once it was established he was not Bigfoot, cleaned up and brought back into society, where he is still working to adapt.

Your world frightens and confuses me.


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